


home again

by dreamsheartstory



Category: The 100
Genre: F/F, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 17:37:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 13,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13709373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsheartstory/pseuds/dreamsheartstory
Summary: snippets and ficlets from theand four makes homeuniverse.these stories fill in cracks before, during, and after the behemoth of the story that isand four makes home. i may add to this from time to time when i feel like revisiting this 'verse. all of these ficlets have previously been posted to tumblr.herein contains spoilers for the original fic.





	1. all 4 | low-key friday night

Clarke dries her hands on the dishtowel and hangs it back on the front of the oven door. She’s done with the dishes after Raven cooked them dinner. Deconstructed fajita salads. She had never been fond of quote unquote healthy food, but Raven managed to make just about anything taste good.

Lexa is playing piano aimlessly, every now and then Clarke can make out what song she’s playing, but mostly it’s just endless meandering improv.

She opens the refrigerator and pulls out four beers, popping the top on the opener the installed on the wall nearby before wandering  past the dividing wall and into the main room.

Octavia is half upside down on the couch playing Halo with Raven. There’s a discarded microchip board on the table next to Raven’s laptop, and her brace is propped up against the end of the couch with her crutches, one of which has fallen to the ground.

Clarke pauses next to the piano running her pinky along the edge as she waits for Lexa to look up and come out of her moment of reverie. She sets a beer down on the piano, not quite letting it go, it’s barely touching the wood.

Lexa’s head snaps up. “Clarke,” she clicks the k sound on the back of her teeth. Clarke laughs and reaches out the beer to Lexa who takes it and downs a quarter of it as she glares at Clarke with laughing eyes.

Raven shrieks in delight and Octavia groans, turning her head to nip at Raven’s thigh.

“That wasn’t fair,” Octavia moans.

“It was completely fair, and fucking  _epic_.” Raven howls.

Octavia drops her controller and reaches up to tickle Raven who laughs and squirms and tries to catch Octavia’s hands. 

She catches them up on one of hers and leans across Octavia to tickle her, “I don’t know why you’re tickling me when you’re the one that’s-”

Octavia shrieks half in laughter, half something that might be bloody murder as Raven’s fingers dance across her sides. Before too long she’s begging Raven to stop and when Raven does she pouts.

Raven grins at Octavia and pecks her on the lips, upside down to each other as they are. “Again?” she asks holding out Octavia’s controller to her.

“Oh, it’s on.” 

Clarke grabs her sketchpad and settles into the overstuffed chair between the piano and the tv area, turning on the little light above it. A calm settles over the room even as Raven and Octavia trade insults under their breath. Lexa’s playing picks up again and Clarke’s mind is blank but her heart full.


	2. all 4 | watching a horror film & the power goes out

“Can you turn it up, O?” Lexa leans back into the couch and Raven as she pulls Clarke closer against her front, arms circling around her waist underneath the blanket the four of them are sharing.

“Here.” Octavia reaches across Raven passing the remote to Lexa. She tugs the blanket up to her shoulders and lays her head on raven’s shoulder as she snuggles down into the couch.

“I can’t believe how much it’s storming still,” Clarke reaches behind her blindly for the popcorn bowl. Lexa takes a handful and holds it in front of her, Clarke takes it and pops half the snack into her mouth before continuing. “It’s practically a hurricane out there.”

“At least the house seems solid.” Octavia mutters.

“Guys,” Raven draws out the word, simultaneously whining about the noise, making more noise, and asking for quiet.

The four fall silent as Lexa turns up the movie.

The light from the screen is the only source of light in the room. It dances and fades as the story progresses, darker and darker as the danger looms closer and closer.

Clarke screams at a jump scare and Lexa tries to hide her laughter even as the hair on the back of her neck stands on end. She pokes Clarke in the side and Clarke shrieks again glaring at Lexa.

“I will go upstairs and take the blanket with me,” she threatens, making to sit up as she tugs at the fleece.

“By yourself? In the dark? With the worst storm of the venturing raining down on the roof?” Raven teases.

Clarke frowns and throws herself back onto the couch and bounces into Lexa’s lap.

Octavia curls tighter against Raven.

In the movie a ghost appears behind a lady at the top of a dark stairwell and claps. Two of the girls scream. The screen goes black.

Then… nothing.

No lights. Anywhere. No comforting electrical hum. Outside darkness stretches halfway to downtown.

Clarke presses her face against Lexa’s shoulder and Octavia ducks under the blanket, her face pressed to Raven’s stomach.

“ _Tá me zoando_ , oh come on. It was just getting good.” Raven mutters.

“Right, like that poor kid just wants to play, but someone is clearly trying to hurt the family.” The others can practically hear the pout in Lexa’s voice.

“That kid is a  _ghost_ Lexa.”

“That’s not his fault.”

Raven snorts.

“So is someone going to do something about the lights?” Octavia’s voice is muddled under the covers.

Raven shrugs, “Breaker box is out in the garage.” She runs her fingers through Octavia’s hair.

There’s a clap of thunder and almost immediately after a flash of lightning. Clarke screams.

“So… lights.” Lexa drums her fingers along Clarke’s back.

No one moves. No one speaks.

The silence builds and crawls along their skin. It’s the cold whisper along their skin as the air comes to a still no longer circulating through the duct work. The hair on Raven’s neck stands up and her flesh prickles with goosebumps.

Crack.

Thunder strikes right overhead and they all jump, huddling tighter together on the couch.

“I don’t think the rest of the neighborhood has power.”

“Right, hitting the breakers isn’t going to do any good.”

“Nope.”

“I’m good staying here.”

Clarke pulls the blanket up over her shoulders and shifts to rest her head on Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa leans her head against Raven’s. Octavia shifts so she’s sitting between Raven’s legs her head in Clarke’s lap, pressed to Lexa’s front.

“Is anyone touching the ground?” Clarke asks.

There’s a chorus of no’s and Raven asks why.

Clarke lifts her head to look at Raven in the dark. “They can get you if they can reach you.”

Raven shifts and pulls her leg up off the ground tucking it up under Octavia. "Thanks for that.“

"We’re you not watching the same movie?” Octavia mutters.

“Oh, come on, it’s just a movie.” Lexa sighs.

Clarke bumps her head against Lexa’s shoulder. “You gonna go out to the garage and get the lantern then, oh brave one.”

When Lexa finally answers her voice is small and petulant, “No…”

“Thought so.”

The girls curl up tighter, jumping at every noise, waiting… watching the dark for signs that maybe… just maybe, they aren’t alone.


	3. all 4 | accidentally falling in a pool

Anya had roped everyone in their group into modelling her clothes at an upcoming party, which meant they all got invites to one of the most expensive shindig of the year, dressed to the nines in clothes that cost more than most of them made in a week. 

Famous people are still arriving fashionably late. Clarke has been co-opted by a cluster of rich people excited to talk about her art and begging to be put on the guest list for her next show. After what happened at her first solo gallery, Clarke Griffin’s name had become the name dropped in certain circles. Everyone wanted to know the real story. 

The girls have been rotating in and out of being on her arm. It’s nerve wracking. Tagging each other in and out in singles and pairs, sometimes all three. But they’re still navigating being out, and this is not the safe space that Gallery 2149 is.

They’re about three hours into the party when it happens. 

Octavia is chatting with Lexa and Niylah and Raven next to the pool and Clarke’s voice echoes above the crowd, bright, and happy, and maybe just a bit tipsy.

“Lexa! Octavia! Raven! Loves!” Clarke waves over at them enthusiastically. “I found you.”

Four heads turn to see Clarke, looking extremely relieved, no doubt having finally escaped an onslaught of questions, and not exactly looking out where she’s going. She’s heading straight for a small squat potted plant next to the pool.

Octavia is the first to react, “Clarke!”

Clarke takes a step and swerves around the plant.

Lexa is already reaching out to her, expecting her to trip straight into the pool, and fails to notice that she’s standing right on the edge. She doesn’t realize that her foot doesn’t hit concrete as she goes to take her second step until she’s falling into the pool. She doesn’t have time to react except to flail once before she hits the water, plunging to the bottom of the pool.

She surfaces, gasping for air, a hundred thoughts running through her head. The first that Anya is going to be pissed.

The second is that it’s cold as fuck.

The third is that she’s not going to be embarrassed about this.

Lexa reaches for the edge of the pool and hauls herself, long dress clinging to her body, making it nearly impossibly to haul herself out of the deep end of the pool gracefully but there’s no way she’s swimming to the shallow end.

Raven reaches out a hand to help her to her feet, there’s mirth in her eyes, but she manages to ask if Lexa is okay. Except Lexa is distracted by a very damp looking Octavia and doesn’t answer.

“Why are  _you_  wet?”

“You threw your champagne when you decided to go for a swim.” Octavia wipes at her dripping hair and damp face, somehow managing to frown and laugh at the same time.

Raven bursts out laughing, doubling over with laughter she’s been struggling to contain.

“If you wanted to get wet you could have just asked, Lex, I would have taken care of that for you.” Clarke winks.

Lexa doesn’t hesitate, just shoves her into the pool. Clarke reacts quickly, hand wrapping around Lexa’s wrist, and pulls her down again into the pool.

Clarke surfaces first, going for the edge of the pool, she reaches up for Octavia’s outstretched hand, other hand braced on the edge of the pool. She tugs and pulls Octavia down before falling back into the pool herself.

Lexa surfaces, sputtering, as Octavia splashes into the pool.

Raven slips up the edge of her skirt and quickly undoes the straps on her prosthetic, slipping it off along with the sock she has on and hands it to Niylah before she jumps into the pool, not about to miss out on making the most of this. To be honest, the party has been a stressful snoozefest.

There’s a moment where they’re all watching each other, not worrying about what anyone else at the party thinks, knowing that everyone is watching, but everyone has been watching all night, because it’s the four of them. They’re the four girls that are out and proud of it. The artist, the lawyer, the cop, and the engineer. They’re already the strange ones.

Clarke moves first, tugging Lexa towards her through the water and kisses her, a firm press of lips, before she grabs Raven, then Octavia. Someone splashes water, and they’re laughing, and playing, and they’ve stopped caring. For the first time in public they’ve stopped holding back. It’s as terrifying as it is freeing, but there in the pool, makeup running down their faces, it’s worth it.

Besides, now they have the perfect excuse to ditch the party and get home.


	4. clarke/raven | science experiments

“Raven, I am  _not_  helping you  _light yourself on fire in the name of science_.” Clarke tries to tug Raven back from where she’s digging under the kitchen sink for the spare bottle of dish soap.

“Clarke, it’s totally safe, I watched like ten youtube videos on it. Besides which one of us is the scientist.” Raven stands up holding up the bottle of blue liquid triumphantly. 

“You.” Clarke crosses her arms. “That doesn’t mean you’re not crazy.”

“Oh, come on it’ll be fun, and  _harmless_.” Raven waggles her eyebrows and bounces forward to peck Clarke on the cheek. “Haven’t you ever wanted to wield fire?” She calls over her shoulder as she walks out the sliding glass door onto the back deck.

“Lexa is going to kill you when she gets home!” Clarke calls, opening the medicine cabinet to grab the first aid kit before she follows Raven. She blinks rapidly in the bright spring sun. When she can see again she can see that Raven is sat, legs spread out with a dish of water and soap between them. She’s got a can of butane gas in her hand.

Raven scrunches up her face as she looks up at Clarke. “Maybe I should have asked O.”

Clarke’s eyes shoot open wider. “Not if you wanted to live.” She plops down next to Raven. “If you’re going to do this I’m not letting you  _actually_  light yourself on fire… are you sure it’s safe?”

“Totally,” Raven grins and fishes her phone from her pocket, pulling up a YouTube video and handing it to Clarke to watch while she starts blowing the gas into the soap and water concoction.

Clarke frowns as she watches the video, it looks cool. You could pretend you were a firebender, but what if some of the burning soap fell off and started a fire? “Maybe we should move to the grass.”

“Clarke it’s harmless, it’ll burn out quick. It’s just the butane gas that’s on fire. The soap just traps the gas long enough to light it on fire.”

“Fine, but I am taking no responsibility for any of your injuries. You get to plead your case to Lexa.”

The grin on Raven’s mouth grows and Clarke can’t help but feel herself grinning too as Raven scoops bubbles into her hand. Clarke flicks the lighter on and moves it towards Raven’s hand. She can’t believe she’s lighting her girlfriend on fire.

The bubbles go up in flame and Raven lets out a delighted squee.

“This is sooooo  _cool,”_ she whispers.

“It doesn’t burn?”

“Nope.”

Raven turns her hand this way and that, watching the flame burn down to nothing leaving a strange soapy residue in her palm. Quickly she scoops up another handful of bubbles and holds out her hand to Clarke. The flame wooshes and Raven moves her hand around, watching the fire dance. For just a moment her hand dips close to the bowl of soap and gas and -

_FWOOOOOSH_

The whole thing goes up. Both girls lean back in surprise, but Clarke’s hair isn’t pulled back and there’s a moment of panic as she flails at burning wisps of hair in front of her eyes. Raven smacks her in the face with a soapy hand to douse the flame, but it’s so quick it’s over and done by the time Raven reacts.

Clarke glares at Raven, her face flushed from the fire, her eyebrow and forehead still hot.

Raven bites back at laugh, pressing her lips into a thin line. She can’t help it that Clarke looks equal parts shocked, angry, and betrayed, and utterly cute. “Are you okay?” she manages to ask with an even voice.

“You lit me on  _fire_.”

“Technically you’re the one that lit  _me_  on fire.” Raven starts to move to standing, as she can feel the laughter still building. “And it’s science safety one-oh-one, you tie your hair back!”

Clarke is up on her feet and chasing Raven across the yard in an instant.

Raven lets out a squeal and a yelp as she cuts across the yard, ducking behind the tree. 

“I’m going to make Lexa decide you’re punishment!” Clarke yells, but she’s starting to laugh as Raven ducks out of her grasp by shimmying around the trunk of the tree.

“I plead the fifth!”

“I have evidence!”

“Actually you only have half an eyebrow, so that’s like, a lack of evidence.”

Clarke reaches for Raven as Raven makes a break for the house and tackles her to the ground, straddling her and holding her in place. Her fingers dig into Raven’s side, wiggling relentlessly. Raven can’t stop laughing, squirming underneath Clarke, crying out for mercy in Portuguese.

“You burned off half my eyebrow.” Clarke’s hands still for just a moment and she pouts trying to slow down her breathing.

Raven takes a few deep breaths, “What’re you going to do about it?” Raven arches an eyebrow. And maybe it’s that, the last straw, the subtle jab, but Clarke reaches for the one spot that Raven can’t handle being tickled.

That’s how Lexa and Octavia find them a few minutes later, Raven pleading incoherently in two languages. Clarke swearing she’ll get her back. Both laughing, breathless, sweaty and smelling faintly of singed hair.


	5. all 4 | after a long day at work

Clarke got home first. She’d had a classroom full of six year olds hyped up on cupcake sugar and covered in paint for two full hours after prepping paintings to be hung all morning at the gallery. Her jeans are somewhere near the bottom of the stairs and she’s half-passed out on the couch underneath one of the fleece blankets by the time Raven gets home. She’s all but forgotten about the streak of blue paint in her hair.

Raven rubs at her face as she closes the front door behind her, she’s had back to back classes all day followed by office hours and she can’t wait for the term to end so she doesn’t have to teach so many classes on Wednesday. Sure one of them is a lab, but it’s undergrads, and underclassmen at that, and they’re exhausting… and stupid. Her leg is on fire from standing all day.

She makes her way over to the chair and plops down quickly unbuckling her prosthetic and setting it aside so she can massage her nub. She doesn’t realize Clarke is there on the couch, watching her through heavy lidded eyes until she coughs over a laugh as Raven practically moans when she digs her fingers into the muscles.

“Shut it,” Raven tosses a throw pillow at Clarke who catches it against her face.

“Make me,” Clarke mumbles from under the pillow where she’s hidden and cuddled down further into the couch.

Raven stands and hops the few steps over to the couch, crashing down on top of Clarke. 

Clarke groans.

Neither of them move.

That’s how Octavia finds them twenty minutes later. She sets down the grocery bag she’s carrying on the kitchen table and toes off her shoes. “Scoot,” she nedges the couch with her knee.

There are more groans but Raven slides off the top of Clarke and manages to get under the blanket, curling up against Clarke’s side, her head on her shoulder. Octavia slides in on Clarke’s other side, half on top of her to keep from falling off the couch.

“I had to run like three miles at work in full gear today. I need to shower so bad.”

“You’re lucky the kids stole all my energy or else I’d push you off this couch.”

“Octavia?” Lexa calls as she walks in the still open door. “Will you get the do- Octavia?”

“Here.” Octavia yawns.

Lexa sets two more grocery bags down on the kitchen table and turns to the pile of girls on the couch. “We need to put groceries away.”

“As long as the ice cream gets in the freezer the rest can wait,” Raven protests.

Lexa lets out a heavy sigh and moves back through the house to close the front door. She kicks off her heels and drops her jacket on the back of a chair.

“Come join us,” Clarke’s voice is muffled, and there’s a chorus of murmured yesses that go up after.

She puts the ice cream away and has resigned herself to putting the rest of the groceries away by herself when she sees Raven’s hand outstretched, clearly reaching and waiting for Lexa to take it.

“Today was too long,” Raven pleads their case.

Lexa lets the allure of warm arms and soft bodies take her from responsibilities and the exhausting grind of the day. She lays her head on Clarke’s chest, Raven’s arm wraps around her shoulders, and she wraps an arm around Octavia’s waist.

It takes a few minutes but their breathing evens out and syncs up. Even their heartbeats seem to thud in rhythm. It lulls them all into a cocoon of warmth and comfort. No one wants to move,  not even when limbs start to go numb. Maybe a little bit then, but even so, they don’t want to give up this little bit of peace. Moving means putting groceries away and cooking dinner and acknowledging anything exists outside the reach of their arms. Then again, in that moment, nothing important does.

Octavia’s stomach grumbles and the vibration reverberates throughout the pile causing them to start laughing. The laughter spurs on more laughter, until it’s night uncontrollable. Stomach muscles press against each other and the feeling alone is hilarious. Each time one of them thinks they might have a handle on it someone loses it again and they cycle continues.

It’s Clarke though that pleads for an end first. “I have to pee, stop making me laugh.” That only makes Lexa, still directly on top of Clarke, laugh harder, which sets off Octavia and Raven. Clarke protests, trying to shove at them to get them to move, but her arms are half-dead and still trapped under Raven and Octavia. Still, it’s enough that there’s a shift that they topple from the couch to the floor, a mess of limbs and laughter.

“Freedom at last,” Clarke breathes out and runs for the bathroom.


	6. team mvp | coming home

It was closer to sunrise than sunset when Niylah opened the door to Anya’s apartment. Her feet and knees ached and she had a bruise on her left arm from trying to put in a new keg in the middle of a rush and a hose getting stuck. She closes her eyes and breathes in the silence as she shuts the door behind her.

Keys on the side table, shoes beside it, she pads into the kitchen and pours a glass of water, then walks across to the wall of windows and looks at the city, mostly asleep, almost ready to wake up. Four a.m. is a no man’s land.

Ready to crash into bed she turns to the hallway and the bedroom, talking herself into showering first because she’ll be thankful in the morning as Lincoln won’t drag her out of bed to get clean.

In the soft pre-dawn light she can just make out the sleeping forms of her loves.

The thought hits her.

_Loves_.

Plural.

She watches over them, Lincoln curled around Anya’s back, his arm slung over her waist, Anya close to him, but also reaching out across the empty space in front of her as if she was searching for something in her sleep. Her heart clenches.

It’s been two years since she sat Lincoln down at the end of her shift one night and had a heart to heart to him about Anya, about how they were clearly both falling for her, about how she knew they were just friends, but maybe they could both date Anya, if that’s something Anya wanted. She hadn’t understood it then, the guarded happiness that he had back then, but now she gets it. He never pushed her after she made it clear that she only wanted Anya… but somewhere along the way she had fallen in love with him too, and they stopped splitting their time between home and Anya’s, opting instead to share their nights most of the time.

Lately when they kissed it was different. She trusted him. They slept in the same bed, Anya always between them, but they had stopped shying away from touching each other, and somewhere along the way it had all started feeling like home.

Once upon a time this tight warmth in her chest might have sent her into a flight of panic but tonight it just brings a tired smile to her lips. It’s not profound, or eye opening, it just is, and really, that’s enough.

She sheds her clothes, leaving a trail as she passes through the bedroom to the bathroom, knowing that Lincoln will roll his eyes in a few hours when he finds it. The shower is quick and warm and lulls her closer to sleep.

When her head hits the pillow next to Anya’s she feels two bodies shift, arms reaching for her, and she knows that no matter what comes next for them, this is home.


	7. clarke/raven | stolen kiss

Raven rolls her shoulders and shifts in her chair trying to find a comfortable position at the kitchen table where she’s grading papers. Stacks and stacks of undergraduate physics papers. Students think finals week is hell on them, try being a professor.

Turning over one more paper into the done pile she drops her pen to the table and stretches back, arching her upper back over the edge of the chair, her eyes closed. Her earbuds fall out of one ear and only then does she hear footsteps stop behind her.

A cold hand catches under her chin and lips press to hers, upside down. 

She opens her eyes to a halo of blonde hair. Wrapping her hand up behind Clarke’s head Raven pulls her down for another kiss, slow and careful and awkward as they’re facing different directions. She feels Clarke smile before she pulls back.

Raven sits back up her hand trailing down Clarke’s arm as she starts to move away. She catches her hand and tugs her back. Clarke turns and lets herself fall into Raven’s lap.

“Hey,” she whispers softly.

“Hey yourself,” Raven replies. She tilts her head up to kiss Clarke again, and Clarke complies for a short moment.

“I have to get back to work, and so do you.”

Raven frowns, “Yeah, but this is a lot more interesting.” Her fingertips slide up under the edge of Clarke’s paint shirt that’s ridden up to the tops of her thighs.

“I just came down to get a bottle for water because I keep rinsing out my paint brushes in my drinking water and then going to drink it.” Clarke laughs.

Raven bites her lip and slides her thumb under the band of Clarke’s underwear. “What do you say to taking a break?”

Clarke groans and rolls out of Raven’s lap, kissing her as she does. “Work first, rewards later.” She slaps at Raven’s hands playfully both trying to pull away and continue to kiss her girlfriend at the same time. 

“Lexa’s rubbing off on you.” Raven winks and nudges Clarke away from her.

“Maybe later if we get our work done she’ll rub us both off,” Clarke waggles her eyebrows and walks backwards toward the stairs.

Raven laughs, “I’m telling her you said that.”

“Good, tell Octavia too, she’s always up for reward time.”


	8. all 4 | everyone is sick but lexa

Clarke is curled up on a pile of pillows on the floor, only a puff of blonde hair and her nose really visible from underneath the blanket where she’s cocooned. She’s been sleep watching  _Planet Earth_  for the past five hours. Raven and Octavia are very much awake, and very much delirious, tucked into opposite corners of the couch. They tried to get Clarke to put something else on but she made a noise that was more whine than the word no, and even though she’s half asleep they can’t change the show because the xbox controller is lost somewhere underneath Clarke in her pile of pillows and Lexa refuses to disturb her just so they can watch a movie.

Lexa’s been saying no almost as much as she’s been saying yes today. She’s just glad she didn’t have any cases or meetings and she could call in, promising she’d review cases from home and it wasn’t her that was sick but  _all three_  of her girlfriends. Since then she’s been cleaning their germ infested house and cooking. Well, she cooked breakfast and lunch, small meals because on top off being congested and coughing no one can keep anything down. She gave up on dinner and texted Anya twenty minutes ago about grabbing Pho from the Vietnamese place they all like.

Niylah’s supposed to be by on her way to work.

If she’s honest with herself she’s exhausted and it isn’t even six in the evening. They’ve gone through two boxes of tissues. Lexa went through about two hundred pages of case notes. And Netflix has just asked if they’re still watching.

Sighing heavily Lexa gets up from the table. Of all the voice commands on the xbox one you think Netflix would have pushed to have “Continue Watching” be recognized. But a couple of years and still no luck.

“Lexa, controller. She still hasn’t given it up.” Octavia half whines and reaches for Lexa as she passes by, wrapping her arms weakly around Lexa’s legs.

Lexa kneels down and touches Octavia’s forehead and face, smoothing down her hair, and murmuring softly to her, “You’re not as hot as you were earlier.”

“I’m  _exceptionally_  hot,” Octavia winks. Her laughter dissolves into a coughing fit.

“Oh yeah, O, that phlegm is sexy,” Raven rasps, her throat raw from coughing.

“Like you’re any better off.” Octavia mutters when she’s done coughing.

Raven runs her foot along Octavia’s calf. Lexa kisses Octavia’s forehead. “You’re beautiful even when you’re snotty.”

“What about me?” Raven pouts. Lexa fixes her with a faux annoyed looked and moves on her knees from where she is in front of Octavia to the other end of the couch.

She leans over and kisses Raven’s forehead, “I’m blaming you if I get sick.”

Raven pouts harder and Lexa laughs softly. “You’re beautiful too. How’s your chest doing?”

“Hurts like hell.”

Lexa cups Raven’s cheek with her hand and brushes her thumb across it. “Hopefully it lets up soon. Make sure you get some more fluids in you… both of you.”

“Clarke, sweetheart?” Lexa kneels behind Clarke and rubs her shoulder gently.

There’s a violent shake of not wanting to be awake accompanied by a resounding negative whine, followed by a coughing fit.

Lexa rubs Clarke’s back until it passes.

“Can you sit up so we can look for the controller?”

A finger curls around the edge of the blanket and Clarke pulls it down off her face. Her eyes are red and water and her nose is raw. Lexa reaches out and tests her temperature with the back of her hand. 

“You’re burning up.”

“I’m  _freezing._ ”

Lexa frowns. Where Octavia and Raven seem to be getting slightly better after their second day home, Clarke is getting worse. Clarke doesn’t really even have the energy to pout or whine and it shows. Lexa gathers her up and cradles her while she searches for the controller. She finds it quick enough and hands it behind her to Raven.

“Nothing too loud.”

Clarke nestles against Lexa, still completely cocooned in multiple blankets.

“Clarke?” Octavia asks softly.

There’s a small noise that might have been the word  _what_  that comes out of the blankets.

“Can we watch  _Guardians of the Galaxy_?”

The blankets shift and there’s a small noise.

“I think that was a yes.”

Lexa pulls the pillows closer as best she can and grabs another blanket from the floor before laying down with Clarke in her arms. They shift and settle and find a comfortable way to lay. Lexa mumbling the whole time about how she’s gonna have to get up soon when their food gets in. So of course she’s the only one that’s asleep when Niylah shows up with dinner an hour later.


	9. all 4 | lexa gets sick

Octavia was the first to get better, Saturday she managed to feed everyone and helped Raven take a shower even though she barely had the energy to stand. Sunday she did laundry. Sunday night Raven had energy again and helped get Clarke out of bed for a few hours.

Lexa spent the weekend reviewing case files and focusing on work now that everyone was on the mend.

Monday Clarke stayed home, everyone else went to work.

Tuesday everyone was at work, but by Tuesday night Lexa was cranky.

To be honest she was cranky on Monday too, but Clarke was still sick so they all got a bit of a pass. It had been a rough weekend.

Thursday Lexa woke up with a splitting headache and she couldn’t breathe. She rolled out of bed and took a shower and felt almost normal, so she took a couple nasal decongestants, and made a cup of tea.

Raven is the first to notice.

“Lexa, do you want breakfast before your case today?” Raven offers up the piece of toast she’s just made herself.

Lexa shakes her head, “I’m not really feeling it. And I need to get into the office and review my notes one more time. I’ll see you when I get home?” She doesn’t really give Raven a chance to respond before she’s heading for the front door determined to get through the day.

Thursday night Lexa is the last home, court had drug on and she’d taken a lot longer to get through her post case routine. She kept repeating to herself that it was going to be fine, she just had one more day to get through this week and then she could rest over the weekend.

Clarke is in the kitchen getting plates and silverware for dinner, Octavia had stopped by for takeout on her way home because no one had managed to get to the grocery store yet this week and there really wasn’t anything to cook. 

Lexa grabs a glass and fills it with water before downing it in one go. She sets the glass down heavily and leans her forearms against the counter, leaning half over and laying her head on her arms.

“Lex?” Clarke sets the plates down and moves across the kitchen to her. She rests her hand on the small of Lexa’s back, rubbing small circles. “You okay?”

Lexa stands up quickly, her head spinning as she does. “Yep, I’m fine. I’m gonna be fine.” She closes her eyes and breathes out slowly. “Long day, that’s all.”

“And you skipped breakfast,” Raven says around a mouthful of egg roll as she walks into the kitchen. “You only skip meals when you’re sick.”

“I am not sick.”

Clarke and Raven exchange a look. Raven shrugs. Clarke sighs.

They make it through dinner, Lexa manages a few bites before she lays down with her head in Octavia’s lap protesting claims that she’s sick and arguing that she was in court a few hours longer than she expected to be. She presses her face against Octavia’s hip and spends the next couple of hours softly keening anytime anyone insists she’s sick and needs to eat and rest.

About the time Clarke is getting up to clear the dishes Lexa steals a few more bites of food. Octavia and Raven exchange a look behind Lexa.

“I’m tired, O, what about you?” Raven tries to sound convincing.

“I was thinking about heading to bed early, want to join Lexa?”

Lexa nods. Truth is she’s already half asleep and the second dose of decongestants is wearing off. 

Three hours later she’s throwing up what little was left in her stomach, and her head is pounding, and she’s wondering if the pressure will make it split open, because it certainly feels like it might. She takes the glass of water that’s offered to her and rinses her mouth out. And then the warm damp rag and tries to clean up what feels like every part of her face that’s leaking. It’s disgusting. She leans back against the bathtub and looks up to see Octavia sitting against the edge of it in the dark. She’s thankful Octavia didn’t turn the lights on.

“I might be a little bit sick,” Lexa says wearily.

“Lex, you’re a lot bit sick.” Octavia reaches out and brushes back sweat damp strands of hair from Lexa’s forehead. “Do you think you can come back to bed or is your stomach going to revolt again?”

Lexa finishes the glass of water and hands it back to Octavia. She leaves her hands up, asking for help to stand. “I think I can manage to pass back out again.”

Clarke and Raven pull Lexa in between them as she gets back in bed. Soothing hands against her feverish skin. 

Friday morning Lexa doesn’t get up like normal, instead pressing closer to Clarke as the others get up and the lights get turned on. She feels vaguely like death and a lot like she can’t breathe.

“Clarke?” Lexa cringes at how stuffed up and rough her voice sounds.

“Yeah?” Clarke brushes her hands over Lexa’s face and smiles at her, out of sympathy and amusement. She kisses her forehead to cover it up, knowing Lexa will be less than amused when she opens her eyes.

“I’m sick.”

“I know.”


	10. clarke/octavia | newly in love

Nearly a year and they’re still together. This is the thought that hits Clarke when Octavia comes back to their room before the sun is really up and  _jumps_  onto the bed, pinning Clarke beneath the sheets. It’s a fucking miracle.

At least there’s coffee sitting on the nightstand, which explains why Octavia wasn’t in bed, but not why she’s up before the sun on a mutual day off.

“Merry Christmas!” Octavia says a few decibels louder than actually necessary as she leans down to pepper Clarke’s face with kisses.

But that does.

Clarke wiggles and shimmies and frees her arms from the blanket so she can wrap them around Octavia. This is their first Christmas together. Even though it’s the thirteen Christmas they’ll have celebrated, many complete with Octavia bouncing awake and jumping on Clarke to wake her up. This is the first though with kisses.

Kisses that end with them tangled up in the bed sheets and their pajamas while trying to shed both. 

“We’re gonna be late to my mom’s for breakfast if we don’t get out of bed soon.”

“We’ll shower together.”

“That’s not gonna save us any time, O,” Clarke nips at her girlfriend’s shoulder. 

“That’s why we should get out of bed now, because if we don’t get to add sex to our Christmas morning routine, I don’t see the point.” Octavia laughs and sticks out her tongue.

Clarke shoves her in the shoulder and rolls her eyes before flipping them and pinning Octavia to the bed. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

Octavia raises an eyebrow at Clarke, because they both know where this ends. She reaches up and threads her fingers through Clarke’s hair and closes her hand into a tight fist. Clarke’s eyes roll back in her head, half closed, her jaw goes slack and any other challenge she might have issued slips into the ether. 

“I think I know exactly how to finish this,” she whispers as she pulls Clarke’s ear down close to her mouth. “Shower?”

Clarke nods mutely. New traditions are good.


	11. all 4 | clarke gets a concussion

It’s the kind of late summer heat that feels like a blanket, the beginning of September starts to cool and just when fall starts to think about settling in the temperature is in the 80s and 90s again. The house still isn’t unpacked but Lexa, Octavia, and Clarke have had about enough of boxes and organizing for the weekend. 

Octavia is sprawled in the grass, relishing in the fact that they have a yard she can do cartwheels in, that seems to have no end to its supply of tiny oxeye daisies. She’s already braided everyone’s hair into crowns and adorned them with flowers befit for a fairy princess.

Clarke’s been laying on her stomach on the sun warmed deck sketching in one of her notebooks. She’s filled several pages with messy renderings of her girlfriends. Octavia frolicking, a close up of her hands carefully handling the tiny daisies. Lexa lounging in the hammock with her book, one hand dangling over the edge.

Lexa is half asleep, her book fallen to the ground, her place lost and only a hazy recollection of what she had read. Her body is deliciously warmed through and she feels like she’s one with the world around her.

“Lexa?” Octavia whispers softly as she leans over the hammock. 

Scrunching up her face Lexa opens one eye and makes a noise that might have thought about being the word  _what_  in the back of her throat.

“Can I join?”

Lexa nods and closes her eyes once more. Octavia gets into the hammock slowly, laying down on top of Lexa then gently shifting off to one side. Before long she’s half asleep as well. 

Clarke sketches a while longer, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the quiet perfection of the afternoon. It doesn’t take her long though to decide that she needs to join Octavia and Lexa. With kisses to their foreheads she lets them know she’s there before she begins to lower herself down onto the hammock. Lexa reaches out and places a hand on the ground to steady them. Too many times they’ve dumped themselves onto the ground already and it’s only been a couple of weeks.

Somehow, the three of them balance in the oversized hammock, Lexa tucked between Clarke and Octavia, half covered by them. The quiet sounds of their neighborhood settle around them. A few streets over someone is mowing their lawn, in the other direction is the main street, busy with Saturday afternoon shopping. A few houses down children play, yelling and screaming with delight in a sprinkler in someone’s backyard. There’s the smell of a bar-b-que.

Contentment settles around them, but Lexa sneezes and the next few moments turn into chaos.

It’s not a small petite sneeze, but the kind that make her ab muscles contract. With both her girlfriend’s lazing on top of her she sends them sprawling. Clarke tumbles backwards over the edge, her shoulders and head hitting the ground and the bar that balances the hammock on the ground, her legs still tangled with Lexa’s and Octavia’s. They follow her off the hammock, crashing on top of her in a heap of startled surprise and limbs.

Octavia rolls off the pile and lands flat on her back in the grass. “Everyone okay?”

Lexa rolls the other way, looking up through the hammock. “Think so, Clarke?”

“I think so?” She groans, but she’s also laughing as she curls onto her side. “Smacked my head on the bar.”

Both Octavia and Lexa sit up and move to check on Clarke at the same time, nearly smacking heads as they do.

“New rule,” Clarke says as she’s sat up by her girlfriends. “No sneezing in the hammock.”

Lexa runs her fingers through Clarke’s hair, gently checking for bumps while Octavia checks her pupils.

“Good rule,” Lexa chuckles softly. “I’m sorry, Clarke.”

“It’s okay,” Clarke takes Lexa’s hands and holds them to draw her attention back to Clarke’s face. She bites her bottom lip, “I know how you can make it up to me.”

“Yeah?” Lexa grins, leaning forward and brushes her nose against Clarke’s.

“Yeah.”

The three of them tumble to the soft grass again, cuddles and kisses and soft  _I love yous_. All the things lazy summer afternoons should be.


	12. all 4 | things you said when i gave birth to our first child

Raven’s hair is slick to her forehead, her eyes slightly unfocused with the remains of the epidural, but there’s a sharp attention and tug at her heart as the baby breathes in and screams it’s first breath.

Lexa switches out which hand Raven is holding and flexes her now free hand testing to see if it’s bruised or merely a little squished from Raven gripping it tightly. If she’s honest with herself she really isn’t sure. She also doesn’t care because they have a child. And their family is growing. Their niece, Anya’s almost 1 year old, has a cousin. Lexa has the kind of family she never wanted to let herself dream of, and it looks nothing like it’s supposed to according to the world and she wouldn’t change a thing.

Clarke leans in and presses a kiss to Raven’s temple, “Almost done, Rae.” She rests her forehead there, almost too tired to straighten back up right away, none of them slept since the contractions started, even though they had planned to take turns. They had planned so many things, but they were all so on edge, with the baby coming early, and being worried about Raven that none of them had left the side of the bed, rotating who sat where throughout the night.

“She’s so tiny,” Octavia whispers in awe. She trails behind the nurse carrying their child to where they would clean up the mess of childbirth and make certain the premie was healthy.

Lexa rubs her thumb across Raven’s knuckles and lifts the hand so she can kiss it, “She’s five weeks early, she’s gonna be tiny, O.”

“I know. But she’s  _so_  tiny.”

The baby screams and cries.

“Good lungs though.” Octavia turns her head to side as her head rings with the high pitched sound.

Clarke reaches out for Octavia’s hand, not moving from where she’s gently brushing Raven’s hair off her forehead, “Gonna have to get used to that.” She tugs Octavia back to them. “She’s gonna be loud.”

“Just like her  _mamãe_ ,” Raven mutters still half out of it, laughing at herself. 

“And just as smart,” Octavia reaches out and cups Raven’s cheek in her hand.

“If we wanted a smart one we should have made Lexa the mom,” Raven blinks and groans as she tries to sit up a little bit more.

The baby has quieted, cleaned and swaddled. The nurse brings her back to the bedside, “Who gets to hold her first?”

They had made no effort to hide that the four of them were together, that they were the child’s family, over the past sixteen hours turning away several nurses that couldn’t keep their own prejudices to themselves. Raven’s OB had been in on the situation since the beginning. Behind them were the days of hiding what they were to each other from the world.

“Clarke or Octavia,” Raven looks up at Lexa as she answers. Lexa nods.

“Clarke,” Octavia says quickly. “Not that I don’t want to, just, she’s so tiny, and…”

Raven reaches out and pulls Octavia toward her as Clarke takes a step toward the nurse and their child. Hospital issue blankets take up more space than the precious life inside them Clarke realises as the nurse settles the baby into her arms. Her heart stutters in her chest as she stares down at the bundle, reddish brown skin still irritated with the tribulations of birth, dark hair, and a lot of it. The baby blinks and her eyes are like black reflecting pools. Clarke can feel tears press to the corner of her eyes and she knows if she lets them fall they’ll all start crying.

“She weighs nothing at all, it’s like you could just–” Clarke bounces her arms slightly, mimicking tossing, a wicked grin on her lips, as she holds their daughter tightly.

Lexa lunges half across the bed toward Clarke on impulse. “I swear if you drop her before we get her home…” 

“You break it, you bought it?” Octavia laughs to herself as she leans over Raven, forehead to forehead. They’re all a little delirious with lack of sleep.

“I think we already bought this one, O,” Raven tugs Octavia down for a soft kiss.

“Yeah,” Octavia breathes out, happy and content, “We did.”

Clarke makes her way over to the bed and nestles in next to Octavia as she passes their child to Raven, kissing the top of both their heads as she does. Raven settles down to start breastfeeding. They’ve got a plan for long term, but for now this is it.

“I can’t decide if I’m going to miss the pregnancy boobs or not.” Raven muses to herself. “I mean, they hurt, but they’re fucking magnificent.”

Lexa, Clarke, and Octavia burst out laughing, assuring Raven that all incarnations of her breasts are wonderful.

The nurse turns back to them, noting things down on her chart as she does. “Does the little one have a name?”

“Charlie,” Raven whispers, her lips brushing against the curl of jet black hair on top of the baby’s head.

Lexa leans over and kisses the side of Raven’s head. “Charlotte Abigail Antonia Reyes-Woods… Charlie.”

The nurse inhales and snorts as if she’s trying not to ask if each of them gave the child a name, which is mostly how it happened. Charlotte because they all loved the name Charlie, Abigail from Clarke, Antonia from Octavia, Reyes and Woods being the obvious choices given that legally Raven and Lexa would be the parents, Clarke and Octavia the godparents. They’d realized somewhere along the way it didn’t matter what the legal papers said to them, Charlie has four moms.


	13. clarke/lexa | things you said in the backyard at night

Lexa doesn’t see Clarke outside until she turns off the last downstairs light and blinks her eyes a few times to adjust to the dark. Clarke is little more than a dark silhouette in the center of their porch, hunched up a blanket and looking up at the night sky.

Lexa crosses back to the far side of the living room to the sliding glass doors and watches Clarke as Clarke watches the stars. All evening she had been quiet, distracted, as if she were far away in her thoughts. Quietly, Lexa slides open the door and steps outside, crossing the deck in silence before she sits down next to Clarke.

Clarke barely gives her a glance.

Empty silence stretches between them and Lexa can feel each passing second weigh down on her. The cold seeps into her first the soles of her feet, them through her thin cotton pajama bottoms until she’s used to it, only noticing when she moves and she feels stiff and slow.

“Are things okay?”

“No.”

“Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

Clarke falls silent huddling further down into the blanket and looking down at her feet. It’s easier to say nothing; to pretend that the world will be fine when her head is spinning out of control. She knows in the morning things will look different but that doesn’t change the now, the deep dark pull that makes her afraid to do anything for fear that she’ll end up doing something she regrets.

Uncrossing her arms Clarke offers up part of the blanket to Lexa. It only takes a moment for Lexa to scoot over, pressing close to Clarke. They both shiver in the night air before the blanket is closed around them once more.

Clarke wants to disappear into the dark so she focuses on the steady rise and fall of Lexa’s breath instead. The way Lexa’s thumb brushes across the hem of her shirt sometimes brushing across bare skin, it’s idle and soft and comforting. Nothing is wrong and yet it feels like everything is. Nothing is wrong, it’s like a mantra in the back of her mind trying to make her feel better with its truth but it just makes her feel worse because she feels like her skin is too tight and she’s vast and empty inside.

Lexa presses a kiss to the top of Clarke’s head.

She expects the dam to break, to start crying, but the feeling is too far away almost as if someone else is feeling it for her. Maybe it’s that, maybe that’s why the words come, because there’s nothing inside her to hold them back.

“How do I do that? How do I explain that nothing happened and yet everything in my head is broken and nothing happened. Just there’s nothing.” Clarke presses her way into Lexa’s lap. She wants to feel something like there isn’t this heaviness keeping the hollowness in place. “I want it to go away.”

Lexa twines her arms around Clarke trying to hold her together, but even in the firm grounding of her girlfriend’s arms Clarke feels herself slip further. She turns again, looking up at the vastness of the night sky.

“It’s like the void is inside me,” Clarke whispers.

Lexa presses her nose to the back of Clarke’s neck as tears start to drip down her cheeks.

“I wish I could fill it up.” Lexa presses the words to Clarke’s skin, a prayer to the stars.

“What if… what if it doesn’t fill back up this time? What if I can’t come back down?”

The words beat and crack on Lexa’s soul, and she doesn’t have an answer, not a real one. She can’t fix this and she’s so much better with problems she can fix. “You have us, you have me, and Octavia, and Raven and we won’t let you drift away. You just gotta hold on.”


	14. lexa/raven | things you said as we danced in our socks

Clarke was working an art show, Octavia was stuck late at work investigating a death, and Raven had a class that didn’t end until 5:20pm this term. Which means Lexa is home first and home alone.

She kicks off her heels and drops her jacket on the back of one of the dining table chairs. The silence settles around her and it makes the house feel vast and empty. She curls into the corner of the couch with a glass of water and shuts her eyes.

When she opens them again Raven has straddled her lap and is looking at her with a mischievous grin with something tucked behind her back. She must have fallen asleep.

Lexa breathes out a hello and reaches up to pull Raven down for a kiss.

Raven squirms out of her grasp and reveals two pairs of fuzzy socks from behind her back. “I found them, the exact same ones.”

“How? I bought my fuzzy socks years ago.”

“Magic.” Raven grins, self satisfied. “Dance with me.”

Raven turns on music, it’s soft but sprightly. The lights are still off, just the setting sun coming in through the windows for illumination. Lexa sits on the edge of the couch admiring her socks, pointing and flexing her feet. Raven reaches out her hand and closes her fingers together, asking Lexa to come join her again.

It only takes a few seconds and they step off the rug onto the hardwood floor. Raven slips and twirls and Lexa catches her up.

“I’m going to need you to hold onto me I think,” Raven bites her lip as she smiles at Lexa. They press together, Lexa’s arms firm around Raven’s waist, Raven’s arms loose around Lexa’s shoulders. It’s more of a gentle sway and glide more than a dance but they’re lost in the moment, staring into each other’s eyes and just being.

“I always need you,” Lexa whispers, her lips are soft against Raven’s.

“You’re a sap, Lexa.” Raven can barely hold back her amusement, but she’s smiling, enamored, and never wanting this moment or feeling to end.

“Ssshhhh,” Lexa quiets her. She closes her eyes and leans her forehead against Raven’s. “We’re dancing.”

The music swells around them until they’re lost in it. These are the little things they live for, the day to day that fades into something more than just them. It’s all enveloping, a sense of home. Before too long their girls will be back and there will dinner and life runs through them, echoes around them. And they’re sliding around the living room in fuzzy socks, giggling and kissing, and loving.

And in the quiet moments between songs they soften and breathe and find steady ground.

“I love you.”

“Love you, too.”


	15. all 4 | things you said when you were drunk

“No no no!”

“Oh god.”

“Lexa, no!”

Lexa tips back her head and grimaces as the liquid touches her tongue. Still, she manages to swallow it without it coming right back up and she considers that a small accomplishment, though she’s not entirely sure why, other than no one else thought she would actually do it. She had lost though, and that was the rule.

She’s already going to have a hangover anyway.

“Told you she would,” Raven holds out her hand and Octavia slaps a fiver into it.

“Oh, Lex, you’re going to regret that in the morning.” Clarke laughs and presses onto her knees as she leans across the kings cup circle to kiss Lexa. She wrinkles her nose. “You taste like bad choices.”

“I’ll show you what bad choices taste like,” Lexa shoots back and pulls Clarke in for a harder kiss, messy and not something she’d usually do in front of company but between the game and losing and already being tipsy when the game started she’s kind of forgotten that there’s anyone else there.

“Does she…?” Octavia starts leaning into Raven.

“Nope.” Raven pops the ‘p’ and kisses the top of Octavia’s head. “We’re going to have to get them home tonight aren’t we?”

Lexa tugs Clarke toward her and the two of them topple backwards, Clarke only barely keeping herself from laying on top of Lexa. Clarke rolls off to the side and they’re both giggling.

“Between Clarke ‘winning’ and Lexa losing, yup.” Octavia pats Raven’s shoulder and climbs her way to standing using her girlfriend as a brace. “I’ll get us water, and caffeine, we’re going to need to be more sober than them…”


	16. lexa/octavia/raven | an ode to clarke's boobs

Raven curls into Lexa’s side as she talks hooking her nub across Lexa’s hips. Her lips brush along the edge of Lexa’s breast as she talks and she presses a kiss there. She and Octavia are watching each other, staring into each other’s eyes as their hands dance along Lexa’s stomach.

They all tapped out from sex twenty minutes ago and while Raven and Octavia are talking Lexa is snuggly and half asleep.

“I’m just saying it’s most satisfying to wrap your hand around all that muscle and power.” Raven shrugs and scratches her nails along Lexa’s stomach.

“Yes, but that doesn’t always get the best  _reaction_ ,” Octavia counters as she runs a finger around Lexa’s nipple.

Lexa shivers under their touch, eyes fluttering open and closed again. “Boobs though,” she murmurs. 

Raven nips at the side of Lexa’s, and Octavia tweaks the nipple of the other. Lexa’s hips buck and she whines when the actions don’t continue. 

“For grabbing is what I meant,” Lexa cracks one eye open to watch her girlfriends. Her body is heavy and sated but she can still feel the stirrings of desire as they both reach to cup one of her breasts. She arches her chest into their hands as they continue to talk.

“Clarke’s boobs,” Octavia intones before she kisses the side of Lexa’s.

“I’m not going to argue with that,” Raven says as she catches Lexa’s nipple between her fingers.

Lexa lets her head fall back and her eyes close, “Hers are fantastic.”

“It’s almost unfair,” Raven says with a soft wistfulness.

“Try being fourteen and flat chested with Clarke Griffin as your best friend, that’s unfair,” Octavia winks at Raven and tilts her head to Lexa.

Lexa mumbles something around a softly pained moan that might have been a compliment on Octavia’s boobs, but it’s lost to her pleasure as neither Octavia nor Raven have stopped their gentle exploration, tracing, squeezing, pinching, scratching, using their mouth instead of hand while the other talks.

“Yes, but you have the best revenge,” Raven grins, “You’ve been give permission to touch and access to those boobs.”

Octavia tugs Lexa’s nipple between her teeth. “This is true.”

Lexa groans and tries to roll into one of them, catch one their legs between hers, to grind down on, anything to give her the friction she needs to get the release she can feel building.

“Speaking of the one with the good cleavage, when’s she supposed to be home?” Octavia asks.

“Not until late.”

“Okay enough,” Lexa pants. “Either focus or…”

Both Octavia and Raven let go at the same time and grin at the other. Lexa groans. “Fuck you, both.”

“Don’t you mean fuck me, please?” Raven teases.

Octavia slides her hand down between Lexa’s legs and and let’s it hover there, not quite touching her sex. “I mean we could… but you kinda seem on edge.” She can’t quite keep the laughter out of her voice.

“I’m just going to wait for the one with the fantastic boobs,” Lexa grumbles. She tries to roll over and bury her face in the pillows to hide her grin but Octavia presses her hand into Lexa’s hip and keeps her flat on her back.

“So talking about Clarke’s soft, beautiful breasts is a turn on for you, hmmm?” Raven asks, one hand still on Lexa’s chest as she tugs Lexa’s earlobe into her mouth, rolling her tongue around it.

“Why don’t one of you find out.” Lexa squirms trying to reach Octavia’s hand.

Octavia laughs and nudges Lexa’s legs apart, “You sure you’re ready for that.”

“Fuck–”

Raven sets her teeth into the soft part of Lexa’s ear and Lexa inhales sharply rethinking her word choice.

“–me… please.”

“That’s my girl,” Raven whispers in Lexa’s ear, her lips just barely brushing against the shell.

Octavia doesn’t wait to be asked twice.


	17. clarke/lexa | lexa gets her own part of the closet

Clarke is standing in front of Lexa in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear.

Lexa is frowning, her face scrunched up and there’s a twist of fluttering panic in her stomach that has nothing to do with her half naked girlfriend trying to talk her way into her lap.

Both of them are flustered and frustrated.

They officially moved into the new house three weeks ago and this isn’t the first time Lexa’s felt this tightening in her chest and the need to shrink into herself. Her things are mixin in with Clarke and Octavia’s, the house starting to feel like a place that they all live. They carve out little corners, pockets of themselves, bits of compromise. Lexa knows she’s mourning the loss of her autonomy. In her apartment what little she had was hers, and only hers.

Clarke is in Lexa’s t-shirt and Lexa can’t quite articulate what it is that’s making her frown because Clarke has amazing legs and there’s light smile on her lips and it’s clear that she wants to be in Lexa’s lap… or she did before Lexa crossed her arms over her chest and halted the whole flirtation.

“I’m just not in the mood,” Lexa stands, holding in her place in the book she had been reading with her finger and trying not to brush up against Clarke who doesn’t move back. She can barely make it past her without touching. She shivers with Clarke reaches out to catch her at the elbow.

“You’ve been hot and cold all week, Lexa.” She pulls gently at Lexa’s arm but doesn’t hold on tight. If Lexa wanted to pull away she could with little effort.

It feels silly and petty and pointless. She just needs to get used to sharing a space and things with someone that isn’t Anya. Just needs to trust them. She does, but there’s a part of her that is hung up. Lexa reaches out and tugs at the edge of the shirt Clarke is wearing, a simple white tee with a pocket on the front, nothing fancy. “You’re wearing my shirt.”

“If you wanted the shirt off you could have just said,” Clarke winks but her smile is soft and apologetic. She crosses her arms and pulls off the t-shirt tossing it across the back of the couch. “Better?”

“Clarke…” Lexa’s gazy flicks down, she can’t help it. “That’s wasn’t my point.” She frowns trying to focus on what her point was, but Clarke’s bra is lace, pale cream only a shade darker than her skin.

Clarke takes a step forward and catches her fingers through Lexa’s belt loops, pulling her close. “Lexa.” She’s trying to distract the melancholy out of her and she isn’t certain it will work.

“It’s just…” her gaze flicks over her shoulder to the shirt on the back of the couch. She should let it go and just pay attention to Clarke, but the memory is sitting there of being eight and having her clothes taken by the other girls in the group home, clothes Anya had spent her money on, being told she should share by their caretakers. She inhales sharply and it turns into a sniffle.

“Whoa, okay, no something is actually bothering you.” Clarke leans past Lexa and grabs the blanket off the back of the couch and wraps it around herself like a towel. Panic rises in her chest and she tries to push it down. Something being wrong doesn’t mean Lexa will shut down again or run. Maybe if she gets Lexa to talk she can stop whatever this that is happening.

“I just need to adjust.” Lexa shrugs.

Clarke nudges her back onto the couch to sit down and slips in next to her, brushing a stray tear from her cheek, “Talk to me? This is bugging you.” She presses her lips to Lexa’s shoulder and  threads their fingers together. “Is this about me wearing your shirt?”

Lexa stops herself from shrugging because she doesn’t really want to push Clarke away but the words stick in her throat. She talks around it. “You can Octavia share almost all your clothes. I know it’s just what you do. There are some things I don’t see her wear and vise versa… but there’s little that is distinctly either of yours… and now I’m part of that.”

Clarke lunges forward wrapping herself around Lexa, kissing her soundly. When she pulls away she sighs with relief. This is something fixable. “Lexa, if you want your own part of the closet that we don’t touch all you have to do is say so.” She presses her lips to Lexa’s forehead. “Except the fuzzy socks, those are too good to give up.”

When she pulls back Lexa is looking up at her with a small open wonder.

“That’s it?” She slips her hand under the edge of the blanket and finds her way to lay it against Clarke’s bare waist.

“We can talk with O when she gets back from her run with Raven.” Clarke shifts so she’s straddling Lexa’s lap. “Whatever you need. This is our house.”

Lexa leans forward, pressing a kiss to Clarke’s sternum, a smile on her lips. “It is, isn’t it?”

“Yep, you’re stuck with us now,” Clarke laughs softly and lifts Lexa’s chin with a gentle touch.

Lexa wraps her arms firmly around Clarke’s waist, the smile on her lips wrinkling her nose. “Good,” she says softly. “I know exactly what we should do while we wait for O, and it doesn’t involve any clothes.”

Clarke’s grin widens to match Lexa’s. She opens up the blanket and tosses it over them both with a laugh. As she leans over to kiss her she whispers, “I like this idea.” 


	18. all 4 | across many worlds/genderqueer raven

There had always been an inkling.

It started back when Raven was a kid, relatives talking about how one day Raven would be a young lady and then a woman. The idea seemed foreign as if that were a life that belonged in a different world than this. Grown up was something to become but woman… that felt wrong.

Raven knew that growing up meant a job and a job meant working with the stars. Woman felt as wrong as accounting or dentistry when the idea was debated.

Sexuality had come easier, it had been clear. People were attractive. It was how an individual shown and lived that was the draw, not their gender. Raven had dated across the spectrum, careful to be attentive and kind, but never paying much mind  to the binary when it came to a question of self.

Raven looks up at the stars then blinks and glances at the glow of the house. Upstairs their daughter, barely six months old, is asleep, it was Clarke’s night to put her down. Raven’s fingertips rest on her stomach. Her shape has changed, grown and stretched into all that society says womanhood should be. For the second time in Raven’s life the body that she’s in doesn’t feel wholly right as if it no longer fits who she is in this timeline.

Lexa sits at her piano and Raven can just make out the melody through the glass of the window and the sliding glass door. It’s Octavia that Raven can’t account for as her focus shifts back to the stars above.

There’s a thought that’s been growing inside her alongside Charlie, and now that Charlie is in the world Raven is filled with the thought.

If there are many worlds that exist simultaneously, all moving forward at the same rate from the same starting point, unable to interact or influence another, always existing in potentiality to each other then Raven knows there are worlds where things would be different. There are worlds where she would have slept with Anya, and ones where Wick would have won. Worlds where she didn’t survive, and where Finn had died after her or not at all. Worlds where Luna didn’t leave. Thousands of worlds where her heart didn’t burst with love for the women inside the house.

Tears prick at her eyes and she lets them fall. There would also be worlds where this feeling didn’t eat at her, ones where womanhood suited her. By that admission there would be worlds where she had always been a he. Raven being Rae.

That notion felt as unsettling as dentistry had.

But somewhere between, not male, but not quite female. Raven is starting to think that this is the world that they are in.

They roll the words around in their head, nonbinary, they. There’s a thrill there, a connection that they had felt, but also a fear. This was an unknown and there was so much at risk.

Raven blinks back the tears that blur the few stars they can see in the city haze and look to the dim glow from Charlotte’s room. This isn’t the life they had promised any of them.

Raven sniffles and tears her gaze away, and lets the feeling and the words drop away. Across all the worlds this is the one she is in, and these are the choices she made. It sits heavy in her chest, like a weight she can’t quite shake and her fingers itch to scratch at the old familiar lines on her legs. Her hands are cold though and she crosses her arms over her chest, tucking hands into armpits for warmth though.

She misses Octavia crash down next to her until it happens and Octavia is hover over her, blocking out the stars.

“You skipped out on clean up duties.”

“Shit.”

“I covered for you,” Octavia grins. “So you owe me.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Raven knows the look in Octavia’s eyes and her entire body shivers because she’s not in the right mindset. Even though she’s shoved it away they is still waiting for her and nothing feels right.

Octavia dips down and kisses the end of Raven’s nose. “What gives?” she asks softly.

Raven shakes her head and tugs Octavia down on top of her, trying to wrap the familiarity around… themselves.

Octavia brushes the hair back from Raven’s forehead and kisses the skin there. Tears pool at the corners of Raven’s eyes and the world that they’re in shifts. Schrodinger’s gender. Until that moment Raven thinks it could have gone either way it was unknown, but the words are caught there in their throat and there’s no unknowning, only denial of the truth.

The sliding glass door opens and closes and Raven clings to Octavia.

“What are you two doing, it’s freezing out here,” Lexa half calls, half grumbles.

Octavia snuggles down against Raven’s side, “I think we need you and Clarke and a blanket, stat,” she calls out.

“Can we do this inside?” Lexa asks.

Raven can hear her bare feet shift on the wood of the deck and almost acquiesces. “The stars are pretty.” Their words are almost lost in Octavia’s shoulder. They can just make out a lovingly muttered nerd as Lexa slips back inside.

“Babe?” Octavia asks kissing their cheek. “What is it?”

Raven swallows down because they aren’t even sure yet, this could all just be something that passes over them. They could be lying to themselves, that womanhood never felt right because of the societal pressures to conform and that was never something that they had done, loving as they did. Then again it could be the truth and that might be the more terrifying reality.

The back door slides open and Clarke curses under her breath.

Raven clears their throat and looks up at the stars, the life force of the universe.

“The universe is infinite, or nearly so, yes?”

“That’s what you tend to remind me off when you say I need to take a breather.” Clarke teases and nudges Raven with her foot before she settles down at Raven’s head, drawing Raven into her lap. Lexa sits down on her other side and tosses a blanket across her and Raven and Octavia.

“And then there’s the theory that there are many worlds, maybe an infinite number.” Raven keeps her focus on the stars, not certain if they could look to their wives in that moment, even surrounded by love as they are.

“But the only one that matters is the one we’re in as the others can’t influence this one.” Lexa says as she presses her lips to Raven’s shoulder.

“But what if this one isn’t the one we thought it was?” Raven asks softly. A sob catches in their throat and they turns to bury their face against Lexa’s chest. Their breath comes in gasps and they can’t get the words out. Three sets of hands gently soothing them, voices soft and loving and still fear grips at them because until they say it outloud maybe it isn’t real.

It is real.

It’s very real.

“What world have we found ourselves in, Raven?” Lexa whispers, pressing her face to Raven’s.

Raven’s heart aches with it. They should have done this one by one, instead of all at once. This is where they are though, this is the world their in.

“The one where I…”

Octavia nuzzles Raven’s shoulder.

“…I- I’m nonbinary, or genderqueer… I don’t think I’m a woman.” The air deflates from them and they wish that they could be looking at the stars but they’re caught between three bodies as Clarke slips under the blanket, carefully laying amongst them. The weight of them grounds them. Raven feels solid and real and as if maybe this will be okay.

“Across all the worlds,” Lexa starts, “No matter how you identify. You’re still our Raven.”

Clarke presses a heavy wet kiss just in front of Raven’s ear. “We love you.”

Octavia stays silent for a moment and Raven can feel every muscle rigid in their body. For all her impulsiveness Octavia is the one that needs time to process everything. Raven reminds themselves of this even as they brace for the worst.

Octavia’s voice is small but firm, “I’m glad this is the world we’re in.”


	19. all 4 | supernova remnant

The fight happened too quickly for any of them to stop it, growing mass and exploding in a burst of energy before any of them had a moment to take a step back. They were pulled so quickly into the unrelenting gravity of the disagreement that they all sat in shocked silence as the aftermath settled around them.

Rare was it that they screamed, really screamed and tried to shout down each other without listening. There were times that their passion prevailed. There were moments. It was never all of them.

It should never have been over this.

Clarke, Octavia, Lexa, and Raven sit in the living room around the coffee table that had seen them at their best and their worst. Stunned silence, like the deafening kind of silence that follows the last amp being turned off after a rock concert.

Raven trembles. Lexa clenches her jaw. Octavia has her head between her knees. And Clarke has tears streaming down her face.

That morning had started so softly, the four of them in bed talking about the future. That’s where the energy had spilled from. Lexa had stumbled over a marriage proposal and the talk of kids the day before, something all of them wanted but none were sure how to take forward. With four of them it was complex.

Arguing over who would marry whom was not something they should have had to do and that morning it had seemed simple, a matter of legality.

Lexa takes in a deep breath as if to speak.

“Don’t,” Raven bites.

Lexa narrows her eyes and pushes her feet in an instant. She strides across the room, slamming the fall of the piano closed as she does.

“Lexa…” Octavia’s voice is strained.

“NO.” Lexa whirls around. “We aren’t doing this, not over this. Legal bullshit will not be what breaks everything we’ve fought for.” Her face is ashen and she leans heavily against the dining table.

Loving too much had never been their problem. They opened their hearts and arms and fell into each new challenge. Whose name went next to whose on a piece of paper felt like tearing them apart. The energy shattered and screamed across the galaxy of their love. It erupted in bright colors, blinding and deafening all at once.

It shouldn’t have mattered. Should be just another stroke on the canvas of their relationship.

It mattered too much because they were never just two, even when alone in pairs they were always four.

Maybe, once upon a time they could divide and not have it burst like this.

Clarke wipes her eyes and sniffles. Slowly she makes her way to her feet and across the room toward Lexa. As she passes she cups the back of Octavia’s head and scratches her scalp. She brushes a thumb across Raven’s cheek and lifts her chin. When she reaches Lexa she stops, hands propped on her own hips. She looks up at Lexa, lips pursed as if she’s evaluating the weight of her next words.

“No,” Clarke says definitively, “We aren’t. We aren’t breaking over this, that’s the most asinine thing we could do.”

Lexa opens her mouth and closes it once more.

“Then how do we decide?” Octavia straightens up. She’s feels as if her insides are trembling. It’s the fight itself, the raised voices, more than the subject matter. It hurts, and it makes her afraid of what they might become. The vicious anger that had blown them to the far corners of the room is not something that will fade easily. It leaves a mark and their shape will be forever changed. “How do we fix this?”

Silence stretches, deep and dark and fathomless.

Raven stands and reaches for Octavia’s hands to bring her to her feet. Before twining their fingers and bringing the two of them across the room to Clarke and Lexa. “Logic.”

Lexa raises an eyebrow and Clarke opens her mouth to ask for clarification. Raven presses a finger to Clarke’s lips.

“Trust me.”  
Clarke swallows and nods.

“People marry for a few reasons. Mostly love, sometimes money.” Raven starts.

Lexa starts to protest, “Law dictates that we can’t marry for love, otherwise we-”

“-that we can’t all marry each other. So,” a small grin tugs at the corner of Raven’s mouth. “We take love out of the equation. We figure out what partnerships make the most sense legally and fiscally. It’s a legal document.”

“It doesn’t dictate how we feel about each other,” Clarke smiles softly at Raven.

Lexa leans against the table and nods. “There is sense in that. O?” she looks up wide and glossy eyed.

Octavia reaches for Clarke and stops herself from falling into her oldest friend, her only friend that had ever seen the fights she grew up around. The one that would understand the deepest. Her voice quavers, “We don’t get to use the licenses as a bargaining chip. They can’t be leverage.”

Lexa jumps to her feet and reaches forward to cup Octavia’s face. “Of course not!” She pauses, not certain where to go from here. The energy from the fight has burst around them and they’re aching and scared in its wake. Still, words had been hurled like weapons and she didn’t miss the way that Octavia had flinched slightly when Lexa had reached for her. “I’m sorry for starting this.”

Raven leans her forehead against Lexa’s shoulder and sneaks her arm around Lexa’s waist.

Clarke presses a kiss to the side of Octavia’s head and turns to Lexa, “We need to know what we’re going to do if we’re going to have kids. And it’s clear we all want to do this as best we can.”

Lexa nods. In turn she tugs each of the girls closer to her until they’re leaning in a pile that’s somewhat like a hug and somewhat like a huddle. “I know,” she whispers.

They’re in this together. They’ve gotten this far, figured out how to talk through the hard stuff. Together they’ll figure out how to keep moving forward together, explosions and all.


End file.
